Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Positive Attitude Secrets

"Secrets of a Positive Attitude"



Are you constantly bombarded by thoughts of negativity? Plagued by feelings of insecurity? Do you see everything in a negative manner? The reason for this lies deep within your heart. You are what you mentally and spiritually eat. If a person drinks alchohol on a daily basis, odds are their body will be affected in some way. They may have liver issues, develop cancer or incur some other type of health problem directly related to the amount of alcohol they have consumed. In the same way, a person who constantly feeds themselves negative thoughts will simply turn into a negative person.

This is the time to go on a diet. A diet of positive attitude food. You have to literally stop feeding your mind negative things. Ask yourself is this thought negative or positive or negative? What do negative thoughts look like? Well, they start with can't rather than can, no as opposed to yes, will and not won't. The Bible which is the greatest self help book ever written, speaks about taking every thought captive. The problem in our society has become that our thoughts have taken us captive. We have begun to let our thoughts control us.

A great way to know what we are negative about is to ask those people who are closest to us. You can ask your spouse
or another person in your life who really knows you how they would rate your attitude on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being super positive and 1 super negative. Ask this person to be totally honest with you. You will benefit from their honesty even if it causes you pain. Ask this person what it is that you specifically say that they perceive as negative. Write down what they say and look at the actual words. Now is the time to be honest with yourself. Those words are a reflection of what is inside you. They are who you are. The great thing is that you can change. It is as simple as making a choice to do so. You must decide to replace the thoughts of negativity with thoughts of positivity. Decide what words you will change the negative words on your paper to. Once you have done this, make an effort to insert these new positive thoughts in your mind. You will begin to notice a positive change taking place in your life. Your family, friends and co-workers will all notice it as well. They may not know what is different about you. But they will know that you are not the same person that you were.

The items which are causing negativity in your life could very well be the news, movies, constantly replaying tragedy in your mind and the list could go on. These things should be eliminated if you want your new mental health regimen to be a success. The news is very negative and does not help someone who is trying to rid their mind of such thoughts. When you are feeding yourself thoughts of death from a war or gunshot or car accident visually the outcome will be negative. I do believe there is a time to grieve over the death of a loved one. However, if a person constantly replays this negative event in their minds it can lead to depression. The person who has passed away is not coming back and we must close that chapter in our lives and move on to the next chapter. This is a difficult task which can only be done by making a decision to proceed with our own life, no matter how hard this may be.

You can do it. You can and will have a positive attitude, if you simply take the steps outlined above. You do not have to be what you were in the past. You can be different in the future. The choice is yours. I know you will make a positive one.



"The Inside is What Counts"



This article will deal with what is on the inside of us. Who we are on the inside, seems to show up on the outside no matter how hard we try to hide it. You have no doubt heard of people wearing their hearts on their sleeves and this is because what is in our hearts are some deep emotions. You can be the best actor/actress in the world but if you are hurting inside you are in bad emotional shape. You can mask your pain with a smile or a laugh but that pain is still there. You can not make that pain disappear with alcohol or drugs it simply returns when the narcotic is out of the system. Medication will also need to be constantly taken if one is on anti-depressants. Why? Because the heart itself, what is on the inside of every single person on this planet is never dealt with. God speaks of people who honor Him with their lips but their hearts are far from Him. God knows what is inside of all of us. The choice can be to run from who we are. To pour ourselves into various addictions to get away from who we are. We must however deal with who we really are if we are to move past any pain in our lives.

Before my darling mother passed away, she uttered the words it is time to move on to my wife and I. Those words were very hard to hear but they still ring true today as I am reminded of them when I reflect back on my last days with her. I could have chosen to stay in the emotional state of numbness that I was in during her last days on earth or proceed to keep all the great memories of my mother in my heart and enyoy the rest of the time that God has given me on the earth. The choice was mine. It was a difficult one but one that I believe that all of us must make when it comes to dealing with who we are. If I chose to stay in a state of numbness and deal with it by working too much or withdrawl I would too busy focusing on myself. I would miss out on spending time with my amazing wife and daughter and I would never be able to get that time back.

Take a look at who you are inside. Talk about the pain with someone you can trust and move on. You can do it. You must do it if you are to be the very best that you can be. Choose not to live in the past because you will miss the very future that God has planned for you.





A Gold Medal in Love


Five-time gold medal-winning figure skater, Jenny Kilmer, has won the women’s Olympics since she was 16. At 36, she is attempting to win her sixth straight gold medal. Kilmer has been blessed to have such fame and fortune with sporting equipment endorsements and TV contracts. She has gotten everything that he has set out to get, except for one thing: love.

Love is what has been eluding her. She has had many relationships, but none that have transpired into anything beyond just a relationship. Her latest relationship with Scott seemed to be destined to the same scenario.

Since two years old, Jenny’s life has been all about skating. Her intensive training has obviously paid off professionally because of her gold medals, but personally, even her trainer, Yon, cannot stand to be around her. It was five days until the Women’s Olympic medal competition.

Yon asked her, “Do you think that you’re gonna find that special guy like that girl did in that movie, ‘The Cutting Edge?’” he said in his Russian accent. “You are ten times the spoiled brat that she was.” “Absolutely,” said Jen. “I’m Jenny Kilmer. America’s Sweetheart. Every man wants me.” “Until they get to know you,” Yon retorted. “But they get together in the end.” “Actors get together in the end, not skaters!” “Whatever, Yon.” “You know I am right. Scott is on to you like the others. You don’t need anybody. No one is gonna tell the great Jenny Kilmer what to do! What has it cost you?” “Allright, allright, Yon.” “Have you not learned anything about love since we’ve been working together? Since you were 16? When it comes to love, you still talk like a 16-year old. Your mother and your father are at their rope’s end with you. Your agents put up with you because you make them money.” “Why are you still here, Yon? You can coach anyone you want. You’ve got your five gold’s with me. What’s keeping you here?” “I want to see you come full circle. You’ve got nothing more to prove in skaing. The pressure is totally off of you in this Olympics. I am partly to blame for you being the way that you are. I have pushed you too much for too long.” “So, what are you saying?” “I have made my dreams into your dreams and I am sorry. I want you to win the Gold Medal…in love.” “But, why are you saying this now? After all this time?” “Scott loves you with all of his heart. Do you remember when you broke your ankle two years ago at the Nationals when you tried the quadruple lutz? He went on to the ice and carried you off. He doesn’t care about your skating. He cares about you! He cancelled a multimillion-dollar building project to be with you for two weeks after your injury. He lost dollars after dollars for his company, got demoted and risked getting fired for you. He slept in the chair in your hospital room for two weeks! That’s love! Scott is one of the greatest things to ever happen to you and you cannot see this. You are headed to becoming a bitter old maid! You’ve got another half-hour till practice is over. Skating- it’s what you’re best at. Go on!”

For one of the first times in her 36 years, Jen Kilmer was silenced, but not without tears of sadness and despair. She could not stop crying…even after practice ended.

The next day, Kilmer fell time after time attempting to do a quadruple lutz. Very few skaters have ever successfully done the quad lutz.

Yon coached Kilmer, “You are not falling because you don’t know how to do the quad lutz. You are falling because Scott has not called in a week.” “What else am I gonna do, Yon?” Kilmer asked. “Call him again and apologize to him – for real this time. At least you’ll know you’ve tried. If you don’t see him again, so be it.”

The day of the Women’s medal event arrived. Several of Kilmer’s competitors had subpar performances, which eased the pressure even more for her. Still…her pressure was not on the ice. She could probably do a very safe program and still win the gold.

Jenny and Yon were in the locker room. Kilmer was stretching as part of her warmup routine. She spoke apathetically to Yon. “Scott’s not gonna show, Yon. I’ve pushed him away like all the other guys before him. I’ve been the biggest bitch to him. He put up with so much of my crap. I won’t be able to show any of my children my gold medals because there won’t be any husband to start a family,” she said confessingly as she started to cry. “ I AM gonna be a bitter old skating commentator for some TV network and I’ll smile my typical smile and show to the world that Jen Kilmer is the happiest woman in the world. I’m such a phony.”

Kilmer’s name was announced on the public address, which meant that it was time for her two-minute warmup before her program.

Kilmer skated gracefully and confidently as usual. She was a skating legend. In her mind, she was just going through the motions. She nailed some practice double and triple lutzes, which she could do in her sleep.

As she skated toward her coach, she formed a puzzled look on her face. Yon was smiling and laughing next to a man who had his back turned to her. Jenny braked and as the man who was laughing with Yon turned around.

“Scott,” Jenny said straining to say his name. She was finally able to get her breath. “Why? Why are you here? I thought I lost you.” “That’s what Yon thought too until I called him,” said Scott. “You called Yon, but you didn’t call me?” “Don’t push it.” I love you, Scott,” she said. “Thank you for being with me after I broke my ankle. You’ve always been there for me and I’ve treated you like crap. Like I told you on your message-phone, I am so sorry.” “All is forgiven, my dear. You can thank Yon for it.” Kilmer smiled at her coach. “I’m doing the quad lutz. And I’m gonna nail it!” “Are you insane? If you wanna win a sixth gold, don’t go for the quadruple lutz! You were lucky four years ago, but remember what you did last year in the Nationals? You fell flat on your ass!” Yon reminded her. “I’m gonna have fun this time, Yon. For the first time in the Olympics, I’m gonna have fun because I finally got everything that I’ve wanted. This is it. After this skate, I’m done. I’ve won the gold this year.” Yon nodded his head with approval and a slight smile. Scott had a puzzled look on his face. “You haven’t skated yet.” “Oh yes I DO HAVE the gold,” she took Scott in her arms. “He’s right here and I’m never gonna let him go,” she sniffled. “I have five gold medals. Now I want some babies. Will you marry me?” “Yes!” said Scott surprised. “I love you, Jen with every bone in my body.”

Scott and Jenny kissed passionately as a couple of Olympic officials walked up to Yon to let him know that his skater was next. When they were done kissing, Yon tapped Jen on the shoulder. “Well then,” said Yon, “You’ve got one more skating duty. As you said, have fun.” He smiled widely. As her named was announced, Kilmer skated onto the ice with the biggest grin she ever had on her face. The crowd’s applause had never been louder for America’s Sweetheart. Kilmer could not hold back the tears of joy. She knew it was her last skate. Jenny Kilmer had won the gold even before her program. She won the gold medal in love.




Abundance is a feeling

This question and answer interview was done by Kathy Smith, one of Michael's loyal Virtual Assistants. Visit her website.

Q: Michael, many times during your teleclasses and seminars, you say "abundance is a feeling." Can you elaborate on that statement - what do you mean it's a feeling?

First one of the important things that we've come to learn with the Law of Attraction is that we can duplicate feelings. In other words, just through the words I use I can stimulate somebody or discourage them. In short, we can create feelings within ourselves and within others by what we say and what we think.

Abundance is a feeling. Do you ever notice how excited you feel when you know you have a check coming or when you know you're getting an income tax refund? The excitement you're experiencing is the feeling of abundance. We feel abundant knowing that it's coming, even before we put it in the bank. So a question to ask is, "Do I feel abundant knowing that I'm receiving some money or do I feel abundant only when I put it in my bank account?" For most people, they feel abundant knowing that it's coming. It has nothing to do with whether that have it or not.

So because abundance is a feeling, and the Law of Attraction responds to feelings (vibrations), what if we were able to duplicate the vibration of abundance deliberately? (This is what's called Deliberate Attraction). We've come to understand that this powerful force called the Law of Attraction is constantly checking to find a vibration that we're sending and duplicates it by giving us more of the same. So what if when the Law of Attraction is checking at every moment, that in that moment, we are offering the vibration of abundance? Given the formula, the Law of Attraction would duplicate that vibration and bring us more of the same. That's why it's called the Law.

Q: How do you teach people to attract more abundance?

The Law of Attraction does not care why you are offering a vibration. In other words, it does not care whether you are remembering, pretending, complaining, creating, day-dreaming or observing your reality. It obediently duplicates that vibration. So ideally, we would find something that makes us feel abundant and include it more often in our daily vibration. There are a number of tools that people can use to duplicate the vibration of abundance. I'll give you one of them today.

Q: How do you record abundance in your own life?

On my fridge, I have 15 - 2 dollar winning lottery tickets. So I can clearly and truthfully say I won the lottery 15 times last month. I'm a winner. Look how many times I've won! It's worth 30 dollars to me in the bank and it's worth much more to me vibrationally.

You know when people buy those lottery scratch tickets? Most would celebrate the win for 21 seconds. So for 21 seconds, you are offering the vibration of abundance by saying things like, "Hey I just won 2 dollars! I love it when I win scractch tickets!" And after the short offering of abundance vibration, most people cash the ticket in again and again until they lose. And now they catch themselves saying, "I just wasted money on this lottery again. I only ever win 2 dollars. Easy come, easy go." Now they're in a place of offering a negative vibration.

So here's how to take advantage of the 2 dollar winning lottery ticket. Don't cash it. Keep it in your wallet. Put it on your fridge. And as you look at it each time, it will be a brief reminder that you won 2 dollars. Now you can tell yourself, I won the lottery! I won money this week! And now, for more than 21 seconds, you are offering the vibration of abundance over and over and over again. Your 2 dollar winning lottery ticket is worth more to you vibrationally than the 2 dollars.




Acceptance!

I was first thinking , when exactly does one start to yearn for acceptance?

 Is it when we are born?

 Is it when we first feel the pain of non-acceptance?

 Is it when we begin to be challenged in sports?

 Is it when we fall into the ever talked about `peer pressure`?

 Is it when we fall  in love?

 Is it when we start a new job?

 Is it when we become a new member of a family?

 Is it when we move to a new city or country?

 Is it when we write our very first book?

 I believe it is all of the above, when people  feel the need to be accepted, they will do leaps and bounds to succeed in this quest.

 Athletes and body builders will take drugs to win..winning=acceptance.

 When we fall in love , our entire being wants to feel accepted by our mate.

 Authors will spend hours and hours to write the exact words to please their readers and go to great lengths to publish their creation.

 Becoming a new member of a family whether it be through marriage or adoption will create a need to be nurtured as one who genuinely belongs.

 Starting a new job is a definite acceptance need, we need to fit in so we can relax and apply ourselves 100% to our job.

  Moving to a new country or city or even just a new neighbourhood, is very challenging for us and to be accepted and fit in, is a very important step in our settling in. 

  Lets not forget` Peer Pressure` , that's a tough one, children just getting started in high school suffer the most with this one, hormones are swinging and their emotions are so sensitive. The fears that they have struggle with for the year before is all up front and  they have a whole lot of reality to deal with. To fit in and be accepted by their peers is more than half the battle.

  Being a baby has a world of need to be accepted and see our parents smile when we please them.

  The pain of non acceptance for the first time cuts like a knife. It wounds us for life, creating a scar that we grow with forever.

  All these worries ,  needs and desires are in all of us that live and breathe.  Some of us feel the hunger for acceptance less than others.  Some of us cannot live with out acceptance , we become obsessed in our thinking, trying anything we can to fit in.

  Do you read the words "self esteem" in anything I have written here today. Yup and it is in every sentence. The need for acceptance somehow effects our self-esteem which in turns affects our emotional stability where jealousy , worry and anxiety seed from.. If you know the feeling of non-acceptance or low self-esteem, then you know how controlled you are by the worry that follows them and how much of your life is imprisoned by that other mind.

 Low self-esteem and non-acceptance are exactly that, `another mind` and one can actually feel them at war . It reminds me of the good devil and bad devil scenario. Trust me here it is no fun for the person that is imprisoned by it, not only do they have to balance the two minds, but they also have the guilt that they feel when they see what the result of the battle in their heads is doing to the people around them. The constant questions that one faces as in  my blog  FEELINGS!!!!  are an added pain to the already lonely tortured person.

 So if anyone out there knows a person that suffers  from non-acceptance or low self-esteem, HUGG  them and please try to have more patience and understand that they are not having a picnic and that if just saying , "stop it" or "just don`t think about it"  could  stop it, they would in a heart beat. We all need support and acceptance to get us through our lows. Kicking someone when they are down, never ever helps them to get up. 

 I am doing what I can through my web site and my blog to help educate people and help them understand what low self-esteem is all about and how very intense and serious it is.  If any of you ever have any questions, please contact me or leave me a comment and I will do my best to answer it.




Alone But Not Lonely
 


In today’s fast paced society, we’ve become accustomed to filling the eeriness of silence with fluff. We turn to many distractions as a means of escaping feelings of idleness or boredom. But the main thing we wish to elude is loneliness. Solitude does not have to alienating or lonesome. In fact, solitude and loneliness are distinctly separate.

The death of a loved one or the inability to find people who understand you can leave you feeling isolated. Webster’s dictionary plainly describes loneliness as “being without companions.” It’s natural to experience an emptiness while longing for love or acceptance. Loneliness is therefore an emotive state that can be experienced whether or not one is physically alone.

It was Geoffrey F. Fisher who said, “In cities no one is quiet but many are lonely; in the country, people are quiet but few are lonely.”

We tend to fill loneliness with all types of distractions. For example, some single women would rather spend a Friday night with a man they have no genuine interest in, than spend the night alone. They long for a way of killing time while they await the man they are actually seeking. Then there are young adults who are involved in cliques where they can’t really relate to their companions. However, they would rather feel accepted on a superficial level than risk feeling outcast. So what is it about being alone that scares us?

Do not be spooked by the unfamiliarity of silence. Silence can be an amazing thing. It teaches you how to truly listen. It teaches you to pay attention to what’s going on inside of you. Only when we are alone, can we have the space and peace we need to think without being outwardly influenced. It therefore becomes easier to make important decisions as well as identify whatever feelings are culminating within.

Get in touch with yourself so that you can make conscious decisions rather than simply react to emotions. Appreciate the time you have to yourself. Let the peace and understanding you find better equip you for the commotion of today’s world



An Article On Perfectionism


What is Perfectionism? Perfectionism is defined as a meticulous drive to attain excellence. A perfectionist is one who has this characteristic.

'Perfectionism' is a most prevalent belief in our civilization. Notice that I used the word 'belief'.

Everywhere in this world of ours, perfectionism is regarded as good and desirable while imperfection is deem as bad or negative. Everybody wants everybody else to be perfect. Bosses want their employees to be flawless on the job. Parents want their kids to be the best. Perfectionists want their work and themselves to be perfect.

Since it is so strongly regarded as being positive, is Perfectionism really an absolute or universal value? In my opinion, it is not so.
To me, it is relative and is born of human conception. Perfection is an idea. It is an idea of a perceived ideal state of affair. However, things are the way they are. For every circumstances, the truth is what is at each instance. Perfection and imperfection are therefore merely attached values.

I am not suggesting that perfectionism is not good. I am suggesting that perhaps perfectionism can cast a controlling net over our expression of happiness. One can reach the required goal with or without being a perfectionist. To be a perfectionist, on the other hand, leave very little room for one to accept and love oneself unconditionally when a desired goal is not met. And when our desires are not met, we feel unhappy or cannot be fully satisfied. However, the truth is we only have each moment of the Present Moment to live in. By being perfectionist, our mind will be forever planning and thinking about the future or lamenting about what went wrong in the past. Because of these tendencies, many perfectionists are unable to feel satisfaction because in their perception they never seem to do things good enough to warrant that feeling of contentment.

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